The second I saw this ad campaign by Bumble, I immediately uninstalled the app (I never use it anyway) and submitted a 1-star rating everywhere I could, and so did thousands of others.

Here’s why.

Note: This article refers to “women and other genders” and to “non-men” in an attempt to represent the reality of as many people as possible. Anytime I’ve written “women”, “trans women”, “trans men”, or “non-binary people”, know that I’m trying to remind people of a gender fluid spectrum, rather than trying to call out specific genders.

How Bumble offended every non-man in just 2 days

Bumble launched their “celibacy is not the answer” ad campaign in early May 2024, and it’s worse than anyone expected.

In these incredibly patronising ads, Bumble claims we cannot avoid the danger and frustration of dating men in 2024.

Equally as bad, it explicitly shames women and people of other genders who have decided not to be sexually active.

Bumble’s campaign was an ill-advised reaction to the 4B movement, which has rapidly been gaining popularity across Australia and the USA this year, thanks largely to Tiktok.

The 4B movement was created by Korean women in 2019 and has courageously been telling women and people of all genders that if you’re tired of being abused by men, you don’t have to put up with it.

Choosing 4B means you can choose to say “no” to the four main ways the patriarchy controls and harms women and other genders:

• Bihon – no heterosexual marriage. (Korean: 비혼; Hanja: 非婚)
• Bichulsan – no giving birth or raising children for men. (Korean: 비출산; Hanja: 非出産)
• Biyeonae – no dating men. (Korean: 비연애; Hanja: 非戀愛)
• Bisekseu – no heterosexual sexual relationships. (Korean: 비섹스; Hanja: 非sex)
• (Source of English translation: South China Post, 2019.)

And Bumble hates all of it. It’s not hard to guess why, but I’ll explain briefly, just in case.

Keep scrolling to see more images from Bumble’s insane ad campaign and read some real statistics about gendered violence in Australia.

Bumble hates the 4B movement

The 4B movement means fewer women and people of other genders using Bumble’s app, which means the cisgender men on their app are feeling disappointed.

Jump on Reddit if you don’t believe me. They’re getting so emotional.

Men’s disappointment means fewer of them are paying for the premium version of the app, because they’re not seeing “results” (sex with women), so Bumble is losing money.

In fact, Bumble’s parent company, Match Group, has lost $40 billion in market value since 2021 (as reported by the New York Times).

So sad.

The problem is, Bumble has decided to blame and shame women for this failure:

In fundamentally-Bumble’s ad campaign says thou shalt not give up on dating and become a nun.

Or what, Bumble?

The implication is that if women withhold our attention, time, and bodies from men, we have broken “the rules”.

But the fact is, giving up on dating men is not an irrational act of rebellion – it is the only sane action in a nation where choosing to love men is often a fatal choice. (Read on for the stats.)

Why Australian women are giving up on dating men

The 4B movement is gaining traction in Australia for one simple reason: a tragic, decades-long epidemic of men killing and assaulting women and other vulnerable genders.

In Australia, this year so far, 39 women have been killed by men (1 January to 16 May 2024). Almost all the murderers were men these women knew.

To remember these women and learn their names and stories, please visit the Australian Femicide Watch national database run by award-winning journalist and researcher Sherele Moody.

That’s 1 woman every 4 days killed by men.

Women and other humans are saying enough is enough…

We deserve to live in safety.

Love should not hurt.

So because women now have to choose between men’s “love” and safety, they’re choosing the single life.

Sadly, just like every other capitalist company ever, Bumble only cares about that bottom line. Money.

So their response is to tell women, celibacy won’t save you:

Bumble’s ads say, using multiple different wordings and different imagery, being celibate won’t keep the men away.

The implication is sinister, even violent.

Don’t want to date men anymore? Too bad – they’re still here.

Don’t want to have sex with men? Too bad – they’ll make us.

And sadly, so many women know that violent implication is true.

As we can see from the statistics, countless men get violently, homicidally mad when women say no.

Besides the most obvious implications of Bumble’s ad campaign, their slogans also imply that women in the 4B movement won’t be happy on their own, and will eventually give up and return to dating men.

But as statistics show, women are happier and live longer when they are single.

And anecdotally, all the single mums and cat ladies out here know, your castle is much more peaceful without a man on the throne.

In fact, Bumble were everywhere, shaming every non-male who chose not to partner up with a man.

What were they thinking? Bumble started out so well…

When Bumble launched in 2014, their main selling point was that when you match with a man, women got to send the first chat message – and in same-sex matches, either person could start the chat first.

Even today, Bumble’s About us page says, “…women come first. Always.” Not anymore, apparently.

Bumble publicly claims they value champion integrity, kindness, equality, confidence, and respect during all stages of any relationship. But apparently, that equality and respect doesn’t extend to their advertising.

And actually, once you start digging, Bumble may have been rotten from the start.

A quick scan of their origins in Wikipedia 😉 reveals proven claims of sexual harrassment and assault of women who work there, illegal distribution of pornography of an employee, and not providing options for people identify as transgender, gender-queer, or other gender identifications and presentations (not the same thing).

To give minimal credit where none is due, there was one of Bumble’s 2024 billboards that actually made some sense…

I mean, yes, dating is exhausting. But also, dating is literally legitimately a health risk if you’re a woman, trans person, or non-binary person.

This ad implies that using Bumble, dating is less exhausting. A bold claim.

But that one brownie point I was about to give them is quickly erased when you find out that Bumble actually removed the app feature that means only women can message men first.

When asked why they axed this safety feature, Bumble’s Chief Marketing Officer (CMO) Selby Drummond was quoted as saying, “We have always taken our lead from the amazing women in our community.”

Taking your lead from women, huh?

By removing the safety feature that was the main selling point of your app?

Really?

Bumble’s fake apology adds insult to injury

In Bumble’s public apology on their Instagram, they say they made a mistake, but it takes them multiple paragraphs to get around to apologising.

The first slide is just them saying what their intention was – which all true allies know is unimportant.

Intent is irrelevant, because everyone should have good intentions towards others.

Impact is what matters.

They try to accountability by saying what people told them about the ads, but they don’t acknowledge how offensive the ads really were.

They say “we didn’t live up to these values”, and they say they’re removing the ads, and they claim they will make a donation to a domestic violence hotline – in the USA, of course, because only their American app users matter to them.

So, that’s the bare minimum achieved for an apology, as far as I’m concerned. No applause, please.

Bumble may say they’ve changed, but we would be fools to believe them.

Once someone shows you who they are, believe that.

Bumble supports abusive men, and that’s all there is to it.

I don’t buy it, Bumble.

I think men weren’t getting enough messages, and they got mad, and you decided you care more about men than any other gender.

Statistics Bumble should go away and think about

The statistics are pretty clear that right now in Australia, life is better for women who stay single for life and avoid men whenever possible.

Each scientific study is linked here, so you don’t need to take my word for it – you can check the facts yourself:

• In Australia, this year so far, from 1 January to 16 May 2024, 39 women in Australia were killed by men. Almost all of the murderers knew the women they killed. That’s roughly 1 woman every 4 days. See stats on the Australian Femicide Watch national database, run by award-winning journalist and researcher Sherele Moody, and learn about each woman’s life story from journalist Vanessa Ann on Tiktok (@fightagainstfemicide).
• In Australia, women are more likely to file for a divorce or separate (for defacto couples) than men (Australian Bureau of Statistics (ABS), 2023).
• Women become more dissatisfied more quickly with their husband / spouse / partner (when married to a man), especially in religious couples where rigid gender roles are enforced against women. And in 2024, we know that women and other genders are doing just as many paid hours of work as their partner and sometimes even earning more, but are still doing the vast majority of childcare, household chores, and mental load. Don’t believe me? Read the government statistics from the census.
• After a marriage ends, men are twice as likely to remarry – and to want to remarry – as women are. And reading the discussion, it’s pretty clear that once divorced, women have no desire to try another male of the species – we know we’re not missing that much.

Of course, it’s not just Bumble who’s failing Australian women and other genders.

Gender and sex discrimination is rife in Australia. And that discrimination is very publicly supported by both politicians and media figures like Waleed Aly, who claims you can’t blame men for men’s violence against women.

Waleed Aly claims we need to focus on men’s mental health – but we already do, and it hasn’t helped. In fact, there are 5 times as many men-specific mental health services in Australia as there are women-specific and queer-specific mental health services. Do a quick Google, and you’ll see what I mean.

Everyone working in domestic violence in Australia has since been trying to explain to him why Waleed Aly is wrong, but I’ve seen no Instagram apology from Waleed Aly yet.

In contrast, when Waleed Aly made a religiously offensive joke one night in 2023 on The Project, he apologised the very next day.

Then there are countless legislatively-protected “gentlemen’s clubs” around Australia, and they consistently vote to remain men-only… But our one and only women-only art exhibit in the country, MONA’s Ladies Lounge, was ordered to let men in by the Tasmanian court (civil and administrative tribunal). 🙄 I’m looking forward to seeing how MONA’s upcoming appeal goes – good luck to all the artists, curators, women’s rights advocates, and lawyers involved! 👏

According to the New York Times, Bumble’s parent company, Match Group, has lost $40 billion in market value since 2021. Shall we plan a party for when they go into liquidation?

Better make sure we invite the men as well, though, or they might get mad.