This original poem by TJ Withers is a response to the national OurWatch ad campaign and the global social media trend. See the hyperlinks within the poem to get all the context.

Men killed fifty-four women and four kiddies in seven months – who’ll be next?

It’s impossible to bear

Tiktok asked if we walked alone in the woods, would we rather see a wild bear, or a man?

Them men chose the man

We women choose the bear, because

If a bear attacks, people believe us

They don’t say, “He’s a good bear, though. He would never.”

If a bear attacks, you can see the scars

We can prove it happened

Hospital reports, doctor’s notes, days off work

If a bear attacks, the worst it can do is kill us

It don’t desire

To overpower

The bear mauls but won’t assault

If the bear attacks, and we tell someone what happened, the bear don’t sue us

The bear ain’t offended

The bear don’t deny their actions

The bear don’t have money and lawyers and an ego

If the bear killed us, people wouldn’t say,

“She should’ve chosen a better bear.”

If the bear attacks, police would say we were brave – not belligerent

But they say,

“She got aggressive”

“She provokes that bear”

“Put her in jail”

“Take her kids away”

No, nobody makes us raise kids with the bear afterwards

When the bear leaves, he’s gone

If the bear attacks, and it chews us up, spits us out,

Disabled for life

We don’t need to sue just to prove

It was the bear

If the bear attacks, we know it’s because

It’s a bear

Not human

If a man attacks, they say, “Boys will be boys”,

But we know it’s because

He a man

And he don’t think we human like him

It’s impossible to bear

That’s why we choose the bear

So let’s be very clear,

We have the stats – control brings fear

Then violence, then death

But if she asks the police, they ask, “Where did he hit?”

Grabs her screenshots, takes photos, begs for witnesses

If she stands up in court, the judge says, “Needs more evidence.”

Don’t tell me these campaigns are going to work

Asking everyone to think “we” not “me”

They think it’s “not all men”, so good men should stop the bad ones

But if it’s not all men, where are the men?

At our July march, I see one

Old, white, brings a camera

Points it in the face of women without asking first

We cringe

He’s right up close

Up close is where it happens

We were worried about the stranger walking behind us, hoodie strings drawn

Clutched our car keys tight

But that’s not where it starts

No, it’s behind closed doors

They kill a woman every four days

They take what they want, then say she wanted it

They say they earn more, so she stayed home with the kids

They say she can’t see them, so she’s suddenly alone

They say they love her, so she tries not to talk about it

Feel bad

Know something’s wrong

But she’s in her own home

Relationships aren’t meant to be this hard, right?

When social media says more than the pollies

Because we’re the ones who care

It’s impossible to bear

That’s why we choose the bear

This is an original poem written by me, TJ Withers, as a reaction to the femicide epidemic of domestic and family violence (DFV) against women in Australia in 2024. All images are my own, taken at Brisbane’s July march in the series of national marches in the No More Violence Rally organised by the amazing humans and women and trans women and non-binary people at WWYW? Australia. This post does not implicate any men in the commission of DFV against the author or any other woman.