awareness | TJ Withers

The incredible Grace Tame recently did an interview on the podcast The Imperfects, and it reminded me all over again that we need to keep talking about this. Thank you, Grace!

It may be 2024, but in Australia, most states and territories still do not allow victim-survivors of sexual assault and domestic violence to speak the truth.

Vulnerable people are silenced by the very legal system that claims it wants to protect us.

The legal system disproportionately favours the person with more money and power. That usually means abusers, who:

Have often spent years controlling or withholding household finances
Typically earn more thanks to the gender pay gap that still exists in Australia
Have the power of a respected position in the community, or
Are confident that their victim is not legally allowed to speak up about what they did.

With pro bono legal services and DFV support services across the state already stretched beyond capacity, vulnerable women, non-binary people, trans people, and children, are being left to fend entirely for themselves.

The current legal system in Queensland perpetuates abuse. Because it’s easier for an abuser to control a person when they know that person cannot “out” their abuser.

Read on to find out what laws we need to change.

photo shows author TJ Withers at the Brisbane March against domestic violence in April 2024, holding a sign that says Queensland laws silence victims.

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In my research into Australia’s domestic violence epidemic, I’ve found an endless list of cases in Australia where parenting orders have been used as a blunt instrument to punish mums who were trying to keep their children safe from domestic violence and other crimes.

Apologies that the language about the parents in this post is mostly gendered (“mum”, “dad”, etc.). I could have said “parent A / parent B”, but instead, I’ve used gendered language based on how the parents were talked about in the court judgements because I don’t know these people’s preferred pronouns.

So let’s talk about why in Queensland, the Family Court of Australia and the Magistrates Courts, mums get slammed for doing the very thing mums are known for: protecting their babies.

This is not legal advice; I am not a lawyer. I am publishing this as a concerned citizen and an advocate for DFV victim-survivors.

And please ignore any typos; I was typing out this post on my phone this morning when I couldn’t sleep. #3amthoughts am I right? 😅

Let’s get into it.

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