It’s harder to say “happy new year” when you remember that 101 women were killed by men in 2024 (Femicide Watch Australia, 2024).
It might not sound like a huge number, until you compare it to the 46 women who were killed by men in the 2022-23 financial year (AIHW, 2024).
Men killing 101 women in 12 months is horrific because it is a doubling of violence against women in Australia.
Domestic and family violence is a national emergency, with 1 in 4 Australian women having experienced violence from a male partner (White Ribbon, 2024).
With that in mind, I read the following books last year, and I believe they would help any Australian man who wants to understand the current war on women and children in our nation.
More importantly, this information can help any person who wants to help us end the war on women.
I was thoroughly impressed by the way these writers gathered measurable data and research from all around Australia and sometimes internationally.
I’m sure you’ll find the statistics astounding – because I did, and I’ve already been reading on these topics for 20 years.
A note on gender references: All references in this article to “women” include trans women. Much of the data on “women” also includes non-binary people, who are routinely marked as female “for insurance purposes”.
This original poem by TJ Withers is a response to the national OurWatch ad campaign and the global social media trend. See the hyperlinks within the poem to get all the context.
Men killed fifty-four women and four kiddies in seven months – who’ll be next?
It’s impossible to bear
Tiktok asked if we walked alone in the woods, would we rather see a wild bear, or a man?
Them men chose the man
We women choose the bear, because
If a bear attacks, people believe us
They don’t say, “He’s a good bear, though. He would never.”
If a bear attacks, you can see the scars
We can prove it happened
Hospital reports, doctor’s notes, days off work
If a bear attacks, the worst it can do is kill us
It don’t desire
To overpower
The bear mauls but won’t assault
If the bear attacks, and we tell someone what happened, the bear don’t sue us
The bear ain’t offended
The bear don’t deny their actions
The bear don’t have money and lawyers and an ego
If the bear killed us, people wouldn’t say,
“She should’ve chosen a better bear.”
If the bear attacks, police would say we were brave – not belligerent
But they say,
“She got aggressive”
“She provokes that bear”
“Put her in jail”
“Take her kids away”
No, nobody makes us raise kids with the bear afterwards
When the bear leaves, he’s gone
If the bear attacks, and it chews us up, spits us out,
They think it’s “not all men”, so good men should stop the bad ones
But if it’s not all men, where are the men?
At our July march, I see one
Old, white, brings a camera
Points it in the face of women without asking first
We cringe
He’s right up close
Up close is where it happens
We were worried about the stranger walking behind us, hoodie strings drawn
Clutched our car keys tight
But that’s not where it starts
No, it’s behind closed doors
They kill a woman every four days
They take what they want, then say she wanted it
They say they earn more, so she stayed home with the kids
They say she can’t see them, so she’s suddenly alone
They say they love her, so she tries not to talk about it
Feel bad
Know something’s wrong
But she’s in her own home
Relationships aren’t meant to be this hard, right?
When social media says more than the pollies
Because we’re the ones who care
It’s impossible to bear
That’s why we choose the bear
This is an original poem written by me, TJ Withers, as a reaction to the femicide epidemic of domestic and family violence (DFV) against women in Australia in 2024. All images are my own, taken at Brisbane’s July march in the series of national marches in the No More Violence Rally organised by the amazing humans and women and trans women and non-binary people at WWYW? Australia. This post does not implicate any men in the commission of DFV against the author or any other woman.
Bluey is the second-most streamed TV show in the world, according to The Guardian. Not the second-most popular children’s show – the second-most popular show, full stop.
Everyone loves Bluey and her family. And I do, too!
But should we? Are Ludo Studio taking their responsibility as a global influence seriously?
After watching the special, 28-minute episode of Bluey, The Sign, some parents aren’t so sure. And this controversial episode has raised some interesting questions about the patriarchal implications in the rest of the series, too.
I’m currently studying my Master of Teaching (Secondary), so I thought I’d start sharing some of the gems I am discovering in the education and training sector!
I’m also working at the same time, in the not-for-profit sector, where training adult volunteers and facilitating group events is a big part of my role. So I’m getting to exercise the things I already know about training and teaching there, as well!
Today’s tip comes from an American study, but next week I’ll bring you an Aussie one… Because you know I think our local context is one of the most important things, whether we’re talking grammar or publishing books or teaching!
How to help students succeed, by teaching them a growth mindset
So in 2016, an American study of 125 math teachers and their 3,965 Grade 9 students, looked at how students felt about their teacher’s attitude about each student’s ability to learn, and how the teacher acted in the classroom…
And compared that to what the teacher said in a survey: Did the teacher believe they had a growth attitude themselves, and did they believe they were passing on that mindset?
Wait, what’s a growth mindset?
A growth mindset is where you believe that you can learn to do anything you need to, so you can achieve anything you need to if you keep trying to learn it. (The opposite is a fixed mindset, where you believe you are either good or bad at doing something, and your ability to learn new skills is limited or “fixed”.)
The example in this study was: “My math teacher believes that everybody in my class can be very good at math.”
How to help students grow a growth mindset
The short version – heavily paraphrased by me – is that, if you want to create a growth mindset in your classroom, to help every student have a better chance to succeed academically:
When a student is struggling, we reassure them that the struggle – the effort it takes to learn something new – is natural, e.g. “It’s definitely confusing when you’re learning a new concept, and it’s totally normal to feel frustrated.” or “Everyone gets stuck sometimes, and we keep trying new things until we get it.”
Share accountability for the student’s success at learning, e.g. “We’ll work together on this, and we’ll make sure you get it.”
Avoid putting it back on the student to just work harder, e.g. “You have to put in the effort and study.” would not be helpful.
And the crazy takeaway from this study is that it doesn’t seem to matter whether you, as a teacher, actually have a growth mindset or not!
Whether teachers reported in the survey stage that they have a growth mindset and they focus on teaching that to their students, or whether they said they have a more fixed mindset, or whether they said they have a growth mindset but they don’t focus on teaching that to students, didn’t affect whether students developed a growth mindset.
So we can hope that as long as you’re helping your students to believe they can learn and believe that you’ll provide help as needed, then they are likely to develop a growth mindset in your subject or class.
This 2016 study was conducted by Hooper, Haimovitz, Wright, Murphy, & Yeager – and I should note that I’m mostly reading analysis by Haimovitz and Dweck, 2017, because it’s a lovely summary.
Are you a teacher?
Send me your best teacher tips! I love learning, and although I’ve been training adults and working with young people for years, I’m so excited to be learning new strategies for helping teens become more confident, more capable, and lifelong learners.
Special thanks to the teachers who shaped my young, creative, undiagnosed-neurodiverse brain in ways that helped me find my growth mindset! Chronologically, Mr Fittell, Mr Pitt, Ms Suarez, Mr Hanlon, Mx Dugan. ♥
Y’all know I simply cannot let November pass by without attempting the #nanowrimo hullaballo. (NaNoWriMo = National Novel Writing Month. It’s a lot of fun trying to write a full novel in one month!)
And whether you’re a plotter or a pantser, you know playing music that matches the themes you’re writing can really get you in the mood … for prose. 😉
So if you, like me, are writing a fantasy novel this month, here’s some musical inspiration to listen to while you write…
Image credit: Fourth Wing fan art 🎨 by @jrtart_ (Jesslyn) as featured on X (Twitter)
You can now read my new book, Laws for Claws, on Amazon Kindle – it’s even free if you have Kindle Unlimited! 😉
And the paperback will be available on Amazon as soon as I get the author proof back and check that it’s all printing ✨perfectly✨. 📖📚
Laws for Claws is an urban fantasy novel, not part of the Fire Dancers series.
This story a werewolf, paranormal romance – delightfully smutty, and definitely NSFW, so it’s such a fun read!
I included all my favourite tropes in this one – one bed, enemies to lovers, “who hurt you?”, forced proximity, and so many more!
Addie is a red-headed and red-blooded young lawyer. A rising star at the precinct, she’s determined to make violence against women a thing of the past.
But she doesn’t know that someone she put behind bars has just been released – and they’re a feral werewolf, out for blood.
Scott, a police sergeant who leads with empathy and authority, and Lee, a troubled cop in the canine squad, both want to protect her. They’re both werewolves in the clan Scott leads, but they have very different priorities.
Addie is hesitant to let them in, afraid of getting caught in the middle of their friendship, and of upsetting the clan.
Can the three of them work together to take down the enemy? And maybe even create their own version of happily ever after?
One of them things I’m most proud of about putting this book out into the world is that I’ve included some of my experience as a #neurodivergent human – diagnosed ADHD, OCD, PTSD, and more.
Here’s my favourite new finds for songs to play in the background of your next DND session! 😎✨
Yes, I play DND, and I love it!
Best background songs for playing DND
1. Step into the Stinky Dragon by Micah Risinger – look, I’m cheating with this one because it’s from the DND actual play podcast Tales from the Stinky Dragon, but I’m not sorry — it’s just amazing! Great for literally anything. (Bonus – another amazing song by Micah that’s been stuck in my head for weeks: His Name Is Mudd (firbolg comedy song).)
3. Running up that hill (by Kate Bush) instrumentals only, performed by the Unsecret String Quartet. Great for emotional scenes.
4. Heroic Fantasy Music by the Fiechters.Good for the start of initiative in combat scenes and for use as a theme song for characters in the martial classes.
5. If in a fantasy Maori setting – Hine-i-te Awatea (Oceanic Feeling, the Maori translation version) by Lorde. Good for druids. ♥️
(C) TJ Withers, 2023. Please credit me when sharing or reposting, thank you!
I plan to add to this list, so let me know your favourite songs to help you feel lucky and optimistic and manifest only the best for yourself!
You’ll recognise Sia, of course, and you might know Morgan St Jean as the singer songwriter who went viral for “Not All Men”. As an SA survivor myself, I love that song more than words can say, and I love this new song by her, “Energy”, even more!
All my love to these artists for their work, I’m really enjoying listening to your songs to motivate me through a difficult time in life!
(C) TJ Withers, 2023, please credit me when sharing or reposting. Thank you!
If Amazon Kindle wasn’t the easiest-to-use book reading platform, and if I hadn’t already spent thousands of dollars on their platform, and if I hadn’t made most of my royalties from listing my books on their platform, I would leave them in a heartbeat — and I still may do so, even in spite of all of that!
(Oh, and there’s a new edition of book 1 with a new cover to match. 😎 If you already have the Kindle of book 1, you can download the new edition free.)
You’ll love Fire Warriors on the Mountain if you’ve ever gone through tough times in life, you love a good island holiday, and you love a well-muscled love interest… 😉🌴🌴🤿🍉🥭🌶
You don’t neeeeed to have read Fire Dancers in the Sand to understand Fire Warriors, but the paperback for Fire Dancers in the Sand is currently just $5 on Amazon — so why not buy both at once? 😉📖📗📘📚
And follow me if you’d like to hear first when Book 3 launches… Fire Gods in the Ice, aiming for a release in the next year! 📃📒⏰✅
TJ Withers 