trauma | TJ Withers

If you’re ready for a hilarious and engaging listen this weekend, start with Pod Like A Girl’s breakdown of the charity fails by “The Better Blokes” podcast.

You can listen to Pod Like A Girl on all the podcast apps, or visit the website to listen to it there:

Pod Like a Girl: 07. Why are the Australian podcast bros crashing out? With Rach McQueen

Or you can watch this important conversation with video on YouTube:

Image from video of Mia and Rach speaking about how the Better Blokes project has been encouraging men's violence against women.

Or you can even download the mp3 file to listen to it another way.

Full disclosure, it’s not just amazing, it’s also enraging, but only because we’re talking about the unashamed misogyny and idiocy of these two man childs.

And Rach and Mia are absolutely the right women for the job, because they’re intelligent and informed.

They’ve also spent years advocating to eliminate misogyny, sexism, and violence from Australia’s culture – and advocating for victims of this misogyny, which we know also harms men themselves.

The men who are going to The Better Blokes project for advice are more likely to be harmed, not helped, by what these blokes are spouting.

It’s the Aussie brand of the Andrew Tate manosphere, where men are encouraged to be a real man, and women are NOT welcome.

Like their videos telling women to “shut the f*** up” and let men speak (direct quote). 🤢 🤮

Which is a problem, because their governing legal documents, their charity charter, says they exist to improve men’s mental health… Not to indoctrinate men with misogyny and encourage violence against women, non-binary people, and even kids.

Cover image of the Better Blokes podcast.

So are they actually helping men’s mental health?

Let’s see…

Continue reading →

I just read the most heartbreaking message from 41 children who have been ignored and unheard when going through the Family Court of Australia.

One, 15-year-old said they felt “squashed”.

I just had to do what I was told and be quiet and suck it up, even if it wasn’t what I wanted.

Two sisters were ordered by the court to spend time with their father, even though they told the court they didn’t want to because they would not be safe with him. One of the sisters said:

That was always one of my biggest regrets because I’m like, maybe if I had said something differently, or emphasised it more, they would have understood what I was trying to say and actually listened… It wouldn’t have made such traumatic memories, which happened afterwards, when we were forced to see him.

The main themes they highlighted match previous research that looked into the fundamental flaws in Australia’s national “child-centred”, “DV aware” court.

For example, studies about the Family Court process and judges’ decision-making have found that:

“The courts are seemingly prioritising protection of the child from the risk of psychological harm by the mother due to her failure to facilitate meaningful ties with a father over the risk of alleged physical or sexual harm by the father. We see this as a serious concern.” (Easteal, Prest, & Thornton, 2019)
There is a “lack of fit” between the types of cases that end up in the Family Court, which “are invariably complex, and likely to involve allegations of domestic violence and/or child abuse, mental health concerns, high conflict, and substance misuse”, and the court’s repeated focus on shared parenting by both parents, “reflected in decisions that appear not to reflect the system’s overarching principle of the ‘best interests’ of children and may also pay insufficient attention to the safety of women and children.” (Laing, 2017)

So what is the Family Court of Australia actually supposed to be doing for children, and why is it refusing to meet its legal obligations?

Continue reading →